Just after my university's got over , i escaped to Bangalore for a week of stay with my poor pregnant cousin [to give her emotional support], her doc husband,and their 4 year old son gagan.
U obviously already know about Gagan if u've visited the flickr blog.hes everywer der. So i was der for a week,shopped till i actually dropped and returned once i was broke - dese are a list of few of the things i learnt over the week in no particular order...
1) Every fucker in Bangalore has an ipod-be it nano, video or a shuffle- or at least have the white i pod headphones with the ash edges with some other player in their pockets.
2) Hindi is the state language followed by English. Kannada is extinct.
3) Regardless of where u are, that road has a Reebok showroom closely followed by a Woodland showroom and a Pizza corner in the corner if u keep walking.
4) Drinking a lime juice from roadside stalls doesn't give u a fuckin diarrhea like the one u get from delhi.
5) But eating a load of [barbecued chicken + prawns+ mushrooms +fish +mutton + paneer etc after downing a sex on the beach + bacardi breezer cranberry flavor] all from barbecue nation severely incapacitates u for a day and a half with the severest bout of vomiting and diarrhea u ever had and will ever have.
6) Bile tastes bad - real bad especially when u have nothing left in your bowels to vomit.
7) Tasting bile vomits vacuum from your bowels.
8) If u travel from central to 100 feet road by bus, u can see a black jaguar, a red ferrari, an ash Bentley, 2 audis,3 BMW's, and a Honda cbr all driven by goggled assholes.
9) All the good girls and the good clothes have already been taken.
10) Everytime u cross the road, a rich bitch in a black zen materializes from nowhere who honks your ass off the road-irrespective of where u are or what time it is.Everytime!
11) Every beggar wears tight jeans.
12) Every girls got a fucker, every fuckers got a girl and one of them's got a bike.
13) Getting to bangalore from tvm by bus takes 14 hours. getting to forum mall from 100 feet road by bus takes 2 hours.
14) Everbody's got straight hair-everybody is so fuckin good looking-u are a disgrace.
15) Nobody goes to forum mall to shop.everybody goes der to check out the opposite sex.they laugh at u if u shop!
16) Your dad and bro will tell u to fuck off in slightly different ways if u ask them to put money in your account.
17) Staring at the tank kept in front of AFC [armed forces corporation]; wondering whether its real, leads to an officer tapping your shoulders,asking your whereabouts, checkin your shopping bags,looking for a bomb.
18) Wherever u go, 325 rupees is the least price u can get for a band t shirt.dont waste money looking elsewhere.
19) Nobody cares about your spykar glasses,your Levis jeans or your woodland shoes.nobody!
20) if u like a t shirt buy it then and there-thinking u can find it tomorrow is the worst mistake u can make.
21) Olympics means shit to a 4 year old who wants to watch cartoon network.no he wont! he wont give u the remote!
22) Never underestimate the power of a four year old who watches power rangers and ben10 on a regular basis. he'll hurt your genitals if u snatch the remote.
23) There are auto drivers who haven't heard of forum mall. be prepared with an extra 20 rupees to waste.
25) You must have done something really bad in your previous life to get a fellow traveler who eats 3 whole packets of your favorite choc biscuit[i know i know] from trivandrum to bangalore without offering u any.
26) A four year old could,can and will actually cheat in surprisingly original ways, when you conduct a dictation test. He'll give u the remote if u dont tell his mommy, and you'll fall for it.
27) I miss my mom especially in long bus journeys with music.
28) I should not have been a pain in the ass when my dad told me to write st johns medical entrance 4 years before.
this list is to be updated next time my cousin gets pregnant........
7 comments:
"Never underestimate the power of a four year old who watches power rangers and ben10 on a regular basis. he'll hurt your genitals if u snatch the remote".....i kno exactly wht you mean....kidu post
:)
u paint quite a picture...
i love ur four year old cousin.. n that huge for a person hu generally hates kids..
i totally agree wit the straight hair bit - watever happened to good old natural curly yucky hair??
and y exactly were u starin at the tank anyway?
oh sorry! some ppl down here dont see tanks everytime they go out of their home! [:)]
where do u live? iraq?
hey
you CAN get music T-Shirts and good ones at that for as little as Rs. 75. But the best place is sarojini nagar market in delhi.
kannada isnt extinct, its just that the centre of town is much more cosmopolitan than the fringes.
nice to come across ur blog. good writing man. keep postin.
Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium?
Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!
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